I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
