The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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