I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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