Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
