The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
