Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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