It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
