shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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