The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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