Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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