I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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