My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
