Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
vagina is talking i cant
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
