It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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