dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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