you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
