She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
