I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
