its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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