my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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