what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
