Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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