Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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