how can u be prego again
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
