Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
