Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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