# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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