you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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