Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
