Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
