I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
