i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
