Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
