She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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