I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
