pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i came on her dog
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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