He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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