Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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