my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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