I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
