If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
