I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
