Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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