I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
