You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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