just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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