He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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