just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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