Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
