this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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