OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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